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Don't
play the role of victim, or use past events
to build excuses. It guarantees you no
progress, no healing, and no victory. You
will never fix a problem by blaming someone
else. Whether the cards you've been dealt
are good or bad, you're in charge of
yourself now.
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My wife of 31 years look at me accross the kitchen table
back in January and told me she was seeing one of my
friends. From what I hear this is not uncommon.
Doesn't ease the pain but life goes on. A little
background. I am a Sr. Manager for a large
refining company. We agreeded early in our
relationship that I would work and she would stay home
and take care of kids. I am young to be in the
position I'm in at 49. I have had to put in lots
of hours and traveled alot over the last 20 some years
but things always seem to work out and we made the best
of day to day life. To say the least it was a
shock to hear her say she didn't love me anymore and
wanted to separate. I'm getting over this a day at
a time. My question / concern is that I don't know
how to act in the dating world. Things have
changed in the dating world since I last did it. I
live and work on the Island of St. Croix. I live a
comfortable Jimmy Buffett life style with a lot of good
friends, but that !
special something is missing. I have dated a few
times but no chemistry happens. Not even a little.
Do you think using a computer dating service like
bikermatchmaking a a reasonable alternative? I
think I know exactly the person for me. Trust is a
must! Honesty and having a good personalty is most
important. Living on an Island she must fit into
bikinis, the smaller the better. She must like
working on her tan, and be eager to show it off to me
when I get in from work. She must keep the wine
holder full of our favorte wine and plenty of cold beer
in the frig. She must be comfortable at a fancy
restaurant with business associates and equaly
comfortable at the Beach Bar on St. John. She must
love to travel to other Islands in the Caribbean on
weekend get aways. She must be my friend and laugh
alot. It would be real helpfull if she could help
get my boat out of the slip. Am I asking to
much???
Signed:
Stxblue
Dear
Stxblue
You are
coming off WAY to strong and you will scare them
off...or you will find someone to take you for your
money. You come off as a name thrower........no one
likes that (unless it's the word BikerMatchmaking).
You need
a lot of time to heal. Remember, you always get the job
you bid on when you don't want it and you do just about
everything not to get it.
"Biker"
Abbie
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i'm 33, not married, no kids, dating the guy i liked in
high school 17 years ago (he's 33 as well & has lived
with me for the past 2 of our 5 month relationship, he
also has never been married and no kids). 95% of the
time life is great. He has been riding some sort of
bike since he was 10 but recently bought a 2004 harley
softail. This is his first harley and all of a
sudden he has an attitude that he is gods gift to all
because he drives a harley. he started drinking
more, mostly on weekends but to the point of not knowing
anything he said the night before. he's not nasty to
me, mostly makes an ass out of himself, sometimes he's
funny, sometimes he's stupid. Now i was told that i
always come before the bike & lately all he seems to
be interested in is going to biker events where its a
drunken titty fest. i have told him that i feel this
is disrespectful to me, there are things you do with
buddies & things you do in a commited relationship
& he doesn't agree. his mother and siblings all
see a change in him as well, his mom says its a phase
& he'll calm down, he really does love me, etc...have
you ever heard this before, the new harley idiot phase?
(not insulting anyone but i'm sure i can't be the first
chick going thru this & are there more chicks that
think its offensive to stand by their man while he's
watching "the best bald beaver contest"?
help me out
Signed:
PAchick
Dear
PAchick
OH MY GOD
PA, sounds like you have a wannabe!!!!!!!! Either that or
he got into drugs you don't know about. But I'll put my
money on the WannaBE. His first ass kick'n should quiet
him down some.
"Biker"
Abbie
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This is the first time I've been on your site and it is
very upscale. I happened to read the situation from
"stxblue" who's wife left him after 31 yrs.
My heart goes out to him because my husband left me the
same way after 28 yrs. Only difference was I carried
his sorry rearend all those years , made sure he had every
thing he needed and wanted and he still wasn't happy.
I would do anything to find a guy like "Stxblue".
He sounds upfront, kind and generous and just wants a
woman to reciprocate for a long day at work. One of
these days his ex is going to look back and realize what a
gem he really was. The one thing I learned from this
is you can't make someone happy . They have to be
happy with themselves first. Good luck to you "Stxblue"
and happy hunting . 52 and starting over
Signed: denise
Dear denise
His ad
number is 27306. YOU GO GIRL!!!
"Biker"
Abbie
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I am a 50 year old male. I ride a chopper. I never seem to
be able to hook up with people to ride with. to be honest,
I really would like to meet a female riding partner(s).
I'm not really looking to cheat on my wife, I just make
better friends with women. I live in Denver, but I'm
taking my bike to Palm Springs for the winter, because I'm
going to be based out there untill April. What's a good
way to meet a female biker with out giving her the wrong
idea? Or should I just shut up and keep on riding alone?
Thanks for any insight you may have.
Signed: Bruce
Dear Bruce
Shut up and
keep on riding alone. It doesn't make you a bad person
just an honorable one.
"Biker"
Abbie
I have been dating a biker for 3 years now, I do not
perscribe to the biker lifestyle,,, don't get me wrong I
am not a prude. I do accompany him on certain events
but I do not consider myself a biker. When I ask him
he says he is not a biker just likes to ride. But he
is in a club and it seems to me the bikers come
first. I am not a fool. Honesty and intgrity
are what I live by. Very early on in our
relationship I expressed concern about the lisfestyle and
he assured me "that's not him" Now I feel
there is more that he keeps from me becasue he feels I am
concerned about it. What would make him not want to
be proud to be a biker. He wears biker clothes hangs
out in biker club houses belongs to a biker club,,,,
hello! I do not want to hurt him he is a nice guy I
mean biker. But I think our beliefs are different
and wonder how we can make a long term relationship work
if this is the case.
He is clean and sober, part of wanting that kind of fellow
is not having to worry about my guy hanging out in
bars. Almost all the time we are apart that is like
his second home. HIs club is made up of much younger
people, some very nice people but a lot of drugs and
alcohol. I've grown out of that. I would never
say me or the biker lifestyle, but hey live and let
live. I am giving up things I believe in to be with
him so I don't know what to do.
Signed: Linda
Dear Linda
One thing
will always hold true.......Never compromise your values
and all will work out fine in this crazy world we live in.
"Biker"
Abbie
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Dear Abbie Columns > |
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