My wife of 31 years look at me accross the kitchen table back in January and told me she was seeing one of my friends.  From what I hear this is not uncommon.  Doesn't ease the pain but life goes on.  A little background.  I am a Sr. Manager for a large refining company.  We agreeded early in our relationship that I would work and she would stay home and take care of kids.  I am young to be in the position I'm in at 49.  I have had to put in lots of hours and traveled alot over the last 20 some years but things always seem to work out and we made the best of day to day life.  To say the least it was a shock to hear her say she didn't love me anymore and wanted to separate.  I'm getting over this a day at a time.  My question / concern is that I don't know how to act in the dating world.  Things have changed in the dating world since I last did it.  I live and work on the Island of St. Croix.  I live a comfortable Jimmy Buffett life style with a lot of good friends, but that !
special something is missing.  I have dated a few times but no chemistry happens.  Not even a little.  Do you think using a computer dating service like bikermatchmaking a a reasonable alternative?  I think I know exactly the person for me.  Trust is a must!  Honesty and having a good personalty is most important.  Living on an Island she must fit into bikinis, the smaller the better.  She must like working on her tan, and be eager to show it off to me when I get in from work.  She must keep the wine holder full of our favorte wine and plenty of cold beer in the frig.  She must be comfortable at a fancy restaurant with business associates and equaly comfortable at the Beach Bar on St. John.  She must love to travel to other Islands in the Caribbean on weekend get aways.  She must be my friend and laugh alot.  It would be real helpfull if she could help get my boat out of the slip.  Am I asking to much???

Signed:  Stxblue

Dear Stxblue

You are coming off WAY to strong and you will scare them off...or you will find someone to take you for your money. You come off as a name thrower........no one likes that (unless it's the word BikerMatchmaking).

You need a lot of time to heal. Remember, you always get the job you bid on when you don't want it and you do just about everything not to get it.

"Biker" Abbie

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i'm 33, not married, no kids, dating the guy i liked in high school 17 years ago (he's 33 as well & has lived with me for the past 2 of our 5 month relationship, he also has never been married and no kids).  95% of the time life is great.  He has been riding some sort of bike since he was 10 but recently bought a 2004 harley softail.  This is his first harley and all of a sudden he has an attitude that he is gods gift to all because he drives a harley.  he started drinking more, mostly on weekends but to the point of not knowing anything he said the night before.  he's not nasty to me, mostly makes an ass out of himself, sometimes he's funny, sometimes he's stupid.  Now i was told that i always come before the bike & lately all he seems to be interested in is going to biker events where its a drunken titty fest.  i have told him that i feel this is disrespectful to me, there are things you do with buddies & things you do in a commited relationship & he doesn't agree.  his mother and siblings all see a change in him as well, his mom says its a phase & he'll calm down, he really does love me, etc...have you ever heard this before, the new harley idiot phase?  (not insulting anyone but i'm sure i can't be the first chick going thru this & are there more chicks that think its offensive to stand by their man while he's watching "the best bald beaver contest"?  help me out

Signed:  PAchick

Dear PAchick

OH MY GOD PA, sounds like you have a wannabe!!!!!!!! Either that or he got into drugs you don't know about. But I'll put my money on the WannaBE. His first ass kick'n should quiet him down some.

"Biker" Abbie

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Dear denise

His ad number is 27306. YOU GO GIRL!!!

"Biker" Abbie

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I am a 50 year old male. I ride a chopper. I never seem to be able to hook up with people to ride with. to be honest, I really would like to meet a female riding partner(s). I'm not really looking to cheat on my wife, I just make better friends with women. I live in Denver, but I'm taking my bike to Palm Springs for the winter, because I'm going to be based out there untill April. What's a good way to meet a female biker with out giving her the wrong idea? Or should I just shut up and keep on riding alone? Thanks for any insight you may have.

Signed:  Bruce

Dear Bruce

Shut up and keep on riding alone. It doesn't make you a bad person just an honorable one.

"Biker" Abbie

 

Dear Abbie:

I have been dating a biker for 3 years now, I do not perscribe to the biker lifestyle,,, don't get me wrong I am not a prude.  I do accompany him on certain events but I do not consider myself a biker.  When I ask him he says he is not a biker just likes to ride.  But he is in a club and it seems to me the bikers come first.  I am not a fool.  Honesty and intgrity are what I live by.  Very early on in our relationship I expressed concern about the lisfestyle and he assured me "that's not him"  Now I feel there is more that he keeps from me becasue he feels I am concerned about it.  What would make him not want to be proud to be a biker.  He wears biker clothes hangs out in biker club houses belongs to a biker club,,,, hello!  I do not want to hurt him he is a nice guy I mean biker.  But I think our beliefs are different and wonder how we can make a long term relationship work if this is the case.
He is clean and sober, part of wanting that kind of fellow is not having to worry about my guy hanging out in bars.  Almost all the time we are apart that is like his second home.  HIs club is made up of much younger people, some very nice people but a lot of drugs and alcohol.  I've grown out of that.  I would never say me or the biker lifestyle, but hey live and let live.  I am giving up things I believe in to be with him so I don't know what to do.

Signed:  Linda

Dear Linda

One thing will always hold true.......Never compromise your values and all will work out fine in this crazy world we live in.

"Biker" Abbie

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